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197 - Being A Chain Breaker

197 - Being A Chain Breaker

Listen To Today's Episode: 

Episode Recap:

What negative patterns did you get from your parents that are keeping you back from success today? On this episode Russell talks about a couple things that happened on his Disney Cruise that made him think about breaking negative chains in his generation history to make his posterity better. Here are some of the interesting things on today’s episode:

-- Find out what happens on the cruise that makes Russell think about why someone would act that way.

-- See what some of the negative traits Russell decided to break from his own life.

-- And see what some positive traits were that he received from his family that he has kept and even made better in his own life.

So listen here to find out how you can affect future generations by discarding negative family traits, but keeping the positive ones.

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Best Quote:

At first for a second I was ready to just pop this guy in the head and just, and it’s just like trying not to, and then you see this kid crying and stuff. And you’re like, ugh, what’s right? Do I yell at the dad, do I leave it alone, do I not? All these things go through your head. And I don’t think, no one’s ever given us a manual to tell us how to respond to those situations. And I remember as I’m looking at this kid, and start looking at his dad, and I’m just getting angrier and angrier as we’re standing in this line, just ready to pop the dad in the head, you know.


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What’s up everybody? This is Russell Brunson, I want to welcome you back to the Marketing Secrets podcast. Today I’m giving you guys a very special episode. We are at the Disney Cruise with my wife and my beautiful kids. And right now we just pulled, earlier today, into Tortuga, I believe that’s how you say it. We just got done with our excursions, and as I was out and about today, and honestly the last couple of days on the cruise I had a thought about being a chain breaker and I wanted to jump on and share it with you guys right now.

Alright everybody, so I’m on a Disney cruise, like I said during the intro. And I love cruising. I really enjoy it. My wife and I had a funny discussion, and I’m hoping in advance, let me preface this before we get too deep into this. I’m hoping I don’t offend you or too many people who are listening to this, but I’m probably going to offend somebody, so I just want to apologize in advance. And if you are offended it probably means there’s something you should look at, at yourself.

I know it’s something for me I’ve been reflecting a lot this week about myself. Anyway, I’m just kind of putting it out there. I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just sometimes we don’t talk about things because we’re afraid of offending people, and I think it doesn’t help people progress. So here we go. And if this gets really bad, I won’t post this one live. But I think it’s helpful.

So anyway, Collette and I were talking about how these amazing people that work on the cruise ships, they come on here, and they’re usually on for like 9 months in a row, then they get a couple, like a month and a half, two months off and then they come back on for another 9 months. And we thought, I wonder how interesting it is when they come on here and they see every week, a new group of people swarm the boat, and just the similarities between groups.

They’re like, here’s all the people that immediately run to the spa and book all the spa ones. Here’s the people that run to the buffet, here’s the people that run to the ice cream machine, here’s the people that run to the plays. And just wondering the patterns and the similarities you know, as you see all the people coming in.

And I was just, that was kind of an interesting thing we were talking about, you know how people are so similar in their patterns. And then today when we were getting off the cruise ship, and we were in line and in front of us there was this little family, and it’s one of those things that you know, this is a moral dilemma that I have and I’m sure all of you guys have at times.

But we’re walking out and there’s these three little kids in this family in front of us, and they’re just like my kids who are going crazy and trying to get off the boat. And the one little kid is punching the brother and he’s punching and punching and punching and the little brother is crying. And then the dad turns to the kids who’s punching the brother and punches him, and says, “Don’t punch your brother.”

At first for a second I was ready to just pop this guy in the head and just, and it’s just like trying not to, and then you see this kid crying and stuff. And you’re like, ugh, what’s right? Do I yell at the dad, do I leave it alone, do I not? All these things go through your head. And I don’t think, no one’s ever given us a manual to tell us how to respond to those situations. And I remember as I’m looking at this kid, and start looking at his dad, and I’m just getting angrier and angrier as we’re standing in this line, just ready to pop the dad in the head, you know.

And I’m sitting here, and then I start thinking and all the sudden I have this moment where I looked at him and I said, the only logical reason why that guy thought that was okay, and I’m going to step back because I sometimes pop my kids when I shouldn’t, so I’m not saying I’m perfect. In fact, I’ve had more than once where I’ve hit my kids telling them to stop hitting their brothers and Collette’s like, ‘Look at the irony. You just hit him, telling him to stop hitting his brother.” So I’m as guilty as anyone else.

So first off, don’t anybody think that I’m making this to position myself differently. I am an offender as well. But I started looking at the dad and in my anger shifted from anger into almost like remorse, as I looked at him and I said, what must have happened in his life? What were his parents like to him? I was like, this little kid is probably going to pop his kid, and then his kids are going to pop his kids because that’s how, that’s what they learned.

I guarantee you that this dad, his dad probably used to hit him and say, “Quit hitting your sisters.” So because of that, he thinks that’s the right response, so he hits his kids saying, “Don’t hit your sister.” And the chain goes on and on and on.

So that’s one situation, that’s just that. But I started thinking about all sorts of things. Then today when we got back on the boat we were walking past the ice cream machine, and I’m not going to lie, I have a few too many ice cream cones, but at the same time I try to have some limits. And I see this family, and again, I’m not trying to pass judgment, and again I hope I don’t offend anybody, but I’m going to call it the way that I saw it.

There was a mom and a dad, each of them probably weighed, I would say close to 400 pounds in front of the ice cream machine with huge ice cream cones, and their kids who were little tiny kids, who probably weighed as much as I did, and they’re like 4 ft 7, little kids. And I’m looking at this, and I was like, for a flash of a second I’m angry at the parents like, why are you letting your kids have two ice cream cones, one in each hand. You should tell them to stop. These kids are not healthy, it’s going to be bad for their heart and their lungs and so many bad things, they’re going to get teased at school. Stop.

And then I looked at the parents and I’m like, the parents don’t know any better. Their parents probably did the same thing, and I start looking and all the sudden this chain of how far back, how many generations back did this thing happen? So there was that situation.

Then I started thinking about all of these other things. I started thinking about business and started thinking about how many people do I coach on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis, who literally I hand them all of the tools, the training, the techniques to make money? Making money is not difficult. The reason why I say it is because I believe it’s not difficult.

But for most people, they’ve been given this pattern from their parents. Let’s say their parents really struggled to make money, and their parents are like, “Hey, making money is hard.” And they’ve heard that ever since they were a kid and all the sudden they come into my world and I’m like, “Hey making money is actually  not that difficult.” “No, no, my parents told me it’s hard and their parents told them it’s hard, and their parents.” And generations back in time it was hard, it was hard, it was hard.

So even though we give them the tools and we’re like, ‘It’s really, really simple.” In their mind they think it’s hard. I could say the same thing, it’s not just business, let’s say it’s, again, it could be anything, diet and exercise, it could be health, could be drugs, could be alcohol, could be all these things. So that’s kind of the negative side.

Now I want to switch to the positive side, because there’s also things where, when I was growing up, my dad was an entrepreneur and he always had money, and always figured out ways to make money, so for him it seemed easy to make money, so in my mind I was like, “It’s easy to make money. Dad did it, so I did it.” So I’m blessed to have a positive chain there.

And I look at different parts of my life and there’s so many things I’ve been blessed with from my parents and things like that. But there’s also things that were passed down to me that weren’t positive. I think in everybody’s life we have both of those. We have these positive chains that have been passed from great grandparents to grandparents to parents to us and hopefully to our children.

And those are the things that you are typically good at, and it’s like a generational thing. You see it amongst your family. Everyone in my family is super good at this, or all of us or super healthy, or all of us are super smart in school, or all of us are whatever and these beliefs and passed from generation to generation to generation that are super positive, but also they’re super negative. That’s why so many times you see families that really, really struggle with health, but maybe they’re really, really good at business. Or they’re horrible at business but they’re really smart in school. Or they’re really smart in school but they’re really bad at entrepreneurship, or whatever it is, because we’re not all given everything.

So I think what’s interesting, this is what I wanted to kind of share with you guys as I was thinking about this today, is this concept of we need to become chain breakers for the negative things in our lives that are generational. So I think, what I was thinking about most of today, I was stepping back and I was thinking about all the super positive things that have been passed down from generation to generation to me, and I was grateful for those.

I’m like, oh thank heavens that I’m a hard worker, thank heavens I don’t have receding hair (just kidding, thank you Grandpa). Just thank you, you know, I was really grateful for the positive things that came down, then I started looking at the negative things. There’s definitely negative traits that have been passed down as well. And I think for me, it’s interesting, the very first time when I became aware of this stuff was really when I started going to the very first Tony Robbins event.

Tony does a really good job of like, “How do you make yourself aware of what’s happening? Most people, life is just happening to us. How do you break outside and become aware of it and be like, oh my gosh this is happening. I can change these beliefs, these thoughts, these things.” And it was the first time in my life I’d ever stopped and stepped back and looked at my life and been like, ‘I can change these things.”

And I stared looking at just certain things in my life, like health. At the time, when I first met Tony, My life wasn’t healthy. I had, I was a wrestler so I always thought I was healthy because I was wrestling a lot and I was in good shape and all these things, but what I ate was not good, was not healthy at all. In fact, it kills me, I wish I could go back in time now to when I was first started wrestling, and what I know about nutrition now and eat differently. Because man, I would have been twice the wrestler, had I been eating correctly.

But because I was exercising and lifting weights, and all those other things, I didn’t know how bad my health was, and it was a conscious choice. I’ve been done wrestling for 6 or 7 years and I’d gained 40 or 50 pounds, and all these things, and I didn’t know any better. I became conscious of it and I’m like, “Okay, I’m in the same pattern that generations ahead of me have been struggling with the exact same thing as well. I have to consciously break this or I’m going to be stuck in the same chain forever. And the same thing I’m going to pass onto my kids and my kids, kids.” So I had to consciously stop and say, ‘I’m going to eat differently. I’m going to, the things I put in my body will be different than what’s just in front of me.” And I had to shift that and I had to be a chain breaker for me, and now hopefully I’m passing those things onto my kids and my kids, kids, and so on and so forth for generations down past me.

Financially with entrepreneurship, I think I got a lot of really good blessings from my father and people before me, but I also have figured things out and became very conscious of what my beliefs are and things like that.

And I started thinking about that in all aspects of my life. So I wanted to share this with you guys because my guess, my assumption is, there are a whole bunch of patterns and beliefs that are causing you to do things or not do things, that if you were aware of them, you could break that chain and you could shift it. And the cool thing about when you break a chain, it doesn’t just break it for yourself, it breaks it for your kids, and your kid’s kids, and posterity, and literally generations.

Look at ten generations, let’s say I’ve got 5 kids, and if each of them have 5 kids, generation 2 it’s 25 kids. If each of those have 5 kids, generation 3 is like 125. If you go to ten generations, it’s like a million people. Because I broke a chain, because I made a shift, because I made a directional thing, over the next ten generations, how many of tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of people’s lives will be shifted because of a change that I made in my life today.

And the same thing is for you, what is that in your life? Again, you have some positive things from your generation prior to you and you should be grateful for them. You know thank, when you say your prayers at night, thank the lord that you have those amazing things that you have, but then look at the negative things, but start looking at them and say, “Man, my dad struggled with this, my grandpa struggled with this.” Or whatever, “Or my mom struggled….” These are things that are affecting me, maybe the belief they’ve been passing onto me isn’t correct. What is it?

Then you become aware of it, step back and say, “I’ve gotta figure out what is the true belief. What do I need to shift, what do I need to change in my life?” And then when you make that, you literally break that chain, and then for the people coming after you, you’re able to set them up for success.

Anyway, that’s just what I was thinking about today as I first off, saw that guy hit his kid, second off saw the people with the ice cream machine, and then started thinking about myself and my family and my kids and I was looking backwards in time and forward in time. And I was just like, I want to start becoming more aware of the negative chains right now that are happening. I want to be able to identify those things and become conscious of it. Okay, now that I’m conscious of it, now I can affect it.  How do I break this pattern? How do I break this chain so that my kids don’t struggle with the same thing I struggle with? How do I get rid of it, how do I destroy it so they don’t struggle with it?

And I don’t know if I’m going to be able to figure all those things out. I’m sure some of them I’m not going to figure out during this lifetime. I have tons of struggles with things I can’t figure out. And I’m sure I’ve passed some of those traits onto these amazing little children, and if I’m not able to break it, hopefully they’ll be the ones to break those chains.

But anyway, I just thought it was interesting and I wanted to share it with you. So hopefully you guys can all listen to this first off, hopefully nobody got offended, that was again, not my goal. But hopefully it did help you to kind of look at that and realize that oh my gosh, there’s things I’m doing because I got this thing from my dad or my grandpa or someone, maybe 150, 200, 500, 1000 years back in my posterity kept passing this on from father to son, from mother to daughter, and because of that I believe these things that aren’t true, and I’m struggling with these things that aren’t true, or that are holding me back from what I actually want in life. How do I take those things, how do I break those chains? That way I can set up my kids for success, and myself for success, and my kid’s kids and so far down the chain.

Anyway, that’s what I wanted to share with you guys today. I hope it helps somebody out there. I know for me, I’ll be making a list of the positives and be grateful for them, and the negatives and figuring out how I can consciously break those chains for myself, and therefore pass those things onto my kids as well, and hopefully you do the same.

Alright with that said you guys, I am going to get cleaned up, I’m covered in salt from our ocean excursion today. It’s so funny, I was talking to Dave and a whole bunch of people at the office. I was talking about, I hate salt water. Everyone’s like, ‘Let’s go to the beach.” I’m like, ‘I don’t like the beach.” they’re like, ‘How do you not like the beach?” I’m like “I don’t know. I hate salt water, it’s horrible.” And today at the beach, every five seconds Norah gets splashed and gets salt in her eyes, and she would cry and it was horrible. And then the other kids would splash each other and get salt in the eyes or salt in the mouth and we’re spitting it out, “It tastes horrible.” Putting water in their mouths to rinse the salt out.

Anyway, then you finally get out of the water and then it’s like, the salt sticks to your body and your whole body itches, and your clothes rip on your body. Ugh, I hate salt. If they made oceans out of fresh water I would love the beach. But they don’t. So I’ll never live on a beach. It doesn’t do anything for me. It doesn’t pull me at all. I’d rather have a river or a swimming pool or a lake, but man, I don’t know. So all you beach bums, I just don’t get it. That whole salt thing is hard to overcome for me.

Maybe it’s a negative chain I gotta break. My dad’s from California though, he loves the beach. Maybe I’m the one that’s starting this anti-beach chain. Hopefully I don’t pass that onto my kids. Oh man, I’m going to start analyzing everything I do insane now, through this analogy of the chains. I’m starting a new chain of beach haters, with my kids and my kid’s kids will all hate the beach, but we will love lakes. So there we go.

Oh man, I gotta be careful what I say now. Alright, I’m going to go. I appreciate you guys listening. If you got any value from this at all, please take a picture on your phone right now, if you’re listening on your phone. Post it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever you post stuff and tag me and use hashtag marketing secrets, and I’d love to hear from you guys, your thoughts on this episode as well as all the other episodes. Also, some of you guys know I had to shift my feed in iTunes, so if you’re listening to this on iTunes and you’ve left a comment in the past, your comment probably disappeared, so it would mean the whole world for me, to go and rate this thing, leave a comment, tell me and tell the world why you like this podcast. That would help a lot with rankings.

We were on the top ten for over a year in the business section, and then for some reason iTunes kicked us out. So now I gotta rebuild all the rankings and all the stuff, the comments and the stars. Anyway, hopefully you’re still getting a ton of value from this, that’s all that really matters when all is said and done. It doesn’t really matter how many stars and stuff I get, but it does help more people find out about it, so if you could take a minute, head over to iTunes and rate and review, that would be sweet.

Anyway, with that said, appreciate you all. I hope you’re having a great day and we’ll to you all again soon. Bye everybody.


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