Secret #59 – Being An Introvert Inside Of An Extrovert’s Calling


Interesting thoughts after my whirlwind week.

On this episode Russell talks about what’s it’s like being an introvert in an extrovert’s business. He shares how you can still be successful while being introverted, just like him. Here are some interesting things in this episode:

  • Find out why Russell loves speaking in front of thousands of people, but can still be awkward one on one.
  • See how Russell is able to get past his introverted tenancies to still be able to sell a room.
  • And find out why you just need to start sharing your message and with consistency you will find your voice.

So listen here to find out how an introvert is making it in this extroverted business.

Full Episode Transcript Expand Transcript

Hey everyone, this is Russell Brunson. Welcome to Marketing Secrets podcast. Today we’re going to be talking about what it’s like being an introvert inside of an extrovert’s calling. Here we go.

Alright so last week was a little bit insane. I think I only slept about 2 ½ hours last night and I am really excited to fall asleep. The kids are almost all in bed, but one of them is finishing their homework so I’m like, I’m going to sneak away and talk to you guys before I pass out and then go back and finish the homework with them so. That’s why we’re here right now.

So last week there was an event that I wanted to speak at for a long time and I got invited probably about six or seven months ago. I was looking forward to it and then after someone else….I get invited to speak at a lot of events, and unfortunately I have to say no to most of them just because it’s hard to leave and travel and be away from family, so it’s not typically worth the investment or the time away, especially this level in the business. It’s tough because it’s like, I’ve had people come back like, “Hey we’ll pay you $100,000 to come speak.” And I’m like, I feel like a jerk because to be able to travel there, being there, being able to travel back, it’s like, I could do a webinar and clear way more than that, you know what I mean, and be able to go sleep in my own bed at night and be with my kids that night.

So it’s just tough unfortunately. But someone asked me, one of my friends, James Malinchak asked me and since I was already going to be speaking at WarriorCon, which is widespread event that I was super excited to speak at. James is in the same city. So it was like, “Sweet dude. I’ll just drive over and we’ll do this whole thing.” So we’re at the event and I’m like, I’m going to be in LA, what else is in LA? Tai Lopez is in LA, we should go hang out with Tai. Justin and Tara Williams are in LA, we should hang out with them. And it turned out to be really, really cool.

Here comes Bow-dog, who has been working on his homework. Say hi to everybody.

Bowen: Hey!

Russell: Anyway, the vacation was crazy. Basically what happened is Dave and I jumped in a plane and flew out there to LA, and at night we got to the Warrior Event, so we decided to sneak in. We were at the back and we had white shirts on and everyone of the warriors got black shirts on that say “Warrior” on it.  I wasn’t speaking until the next day, but I walk in and they came and grabbed the shirts and like, “Go put these on right now.” So we put our shirts on so we could fit in with the whole cult-ture that their building over there.

It was just cool. And then that night I was going to work on slides, I was super tired so I just went to bed. Woke up in the morning and I was going to work on slides, and I was super tired so I didn’t and we went and got massages, don’t tell mom. Massages were really good. Then after the massages I was going to work on the slides, but then I didn’t. And then Justin and Tara came to lunch, we hung out with them for lunch, which was awesome. Then it was like, the ninth hour, or twelfth hour, however that works.

So I had to go get the slides done. So I went up into the room, got my slides done, saw Kevin Anderson who does all our Funnel Hacker TV stuff, he came to come film. And Brandon Fischer was there as well, he does all of other video stuff. So it was kind of cool to have those guys come out as well. They were filming the room, walking around, getting a bunch of footage and everything, which is pretty sweet. So you’ll probably see some of this on Funnel Hacker TV soon.

But that’s kind of what’s happening. It’s so cool, Warrior was insane. 600 men, just insane, everyone dressed in black, it was really, really cool. I was teaching a lot of the Expert Secrets book stuff, but as I was teaching it to them I was also showing how Garret had done it. The process Garret had done to create the Warrior movement, it was really kind of cool to be like, “Here’s this piece of it, here’s how I did it. Here’s what Garret’s doing, here’s what you need to do.” And kind of go through the whole thing. So I think everyone thought it was pretty cool.

The only problem, it’s so bad. I started the presentation and then I come up and Garret does this huge thing to get everyone pumped up and excited and I come on stage and start my slides and my slides aren’t working. And it’s like, I had done all this research to find out, the day we launched Clickfunnels, it was like 138 days later that he had launched his and it had the dates and time and all this stuff in the first slides. So it wasn’t like I could just BS my way through the first three or four slides. They had like pictures and the date and time. I’m like, “Ugh. Well….”

So it was super anticlimactic for probably, seemed like an hour, but probably the first 2 or 3 minutes. And then they came back, you know you get kind of thrown off. It took me 5 or 6 minutes to get back on and then I think the rest of the presentation went pretty well after that.

That was awesome and then we got done and we were supposed to leave to head to Tai Lopez’s house, which is like a 2 hour drive I think, but also Stu McClarin was doing a charity event…..this is homework, we’ll talk about that in a minute. We’re almost done bud, then you can…..

So Stu McClarin is doing an online charity event, so I was supposed to do an interview for that, so I jumped on at the hotel before we left. And of course the hotel internet goes out. It keeps going in and out, so it’s all…..but we did our best there and ended up raising like $22,000 I think for that charity event, which was really sweet to help some families out that have been struggling with hurricane stuff.

Then jumped in an Uber, drove to Tai Lopez’s house, they asked us when we got there, “What’s your hard leave time?” “We have to leave at 11:00 sharp.” So we ended up being there until after 1, almost 1:30 I think. We filmed to info products there, ate dinner with Tai and then did an interview with him, which if you haven’t seen yet, it’s online. It ended up being almost 2 hours long, it was really good. I’m going to see if I can get it on the podcast, so I may play here for you guys to hear. It turned out really cool. If I do that I will explain some of the reason behind the podcast.

But we got done with that at like 1 in the morning. Jumped in an Uber and got to the new hotel somewhere else by 2. And then passed out and woke up at like 6 because I still had to do slides for the next day’s event. So I was working on slides all day. Then got down, get onstage at James event, closed 30% of the room on our package, did the whole thing and by the time we left, we were driving to the airport and I’m like, I just can’t keep my eyes open, I’m so tired.

We drive to the airport, fly home and it’s interesting, because in those situations, I’m onstage, 100’s of people, everyone’s cheering, I love that. That’s me, as Russell the extrovert. I love that. My calling in life and in business is like, requires me to do that, be good at that. Because I gotta stand onstage in front of all of these people and entertain and inspire and hopefully give them the tools they need to be able to move forward.

But what a lot of people don’t know is that’s not natural to me. I’m not naturally very extroverted. In fact, my whole entire life up until probably 10 years ago, when I kind of started into this business, it wasn’t even when I started this business, it was way into the business before I realized I had to start learning how to speak, talk. But I was super introverted, in fact, still am very, very introverted. But when I’m in those situations, I’m at an event and I’m onstage, it comes out of me. I love it, I really, really enjoy it but it’s funny because Dave, who’s there at all these events, he told me, “You’re onstage, you’re present, doing your thing, loving it. Then you get off stage and someone comes and asks you a question and you just shrink in this weird introverted, like you can tell I’m not comfortable in that kind of situation.”

At James Malinchak’s event, it’s funny because I haven’t spoken at an event like that, where you speak and sell and people can ask you questions afterwards for a long time. And it was just tough because I’m in the back of the room and probably for an hour and a half I had people ask me question after question after question. Which is just like, super uncomfortable for me typically. And introverted Russell was really, really struggling.

And then it’s funny, I got home, we took an Uber home, flew home, got back to my house about midnight and the next morning at like 8:00 we had this big church Christmas party that my wife was in charge of. Such a crazy week. So we get there and there’s you know, all the entire church, all these people, and all this stuff, and I’m there with the kids because she was stuff ready. So I bring the kids in and it was just interesting. I come in and totally introverted Russell took over. Not comfortable in that situation.

I kind of sat down at the table with my kids and there’s all these amazing people who go to church with us, that I know who they are, I like them, I like them a lot. There’s especially a bunch of guys that I really think are just awesome. And it’s so weird how much fear I have to go and just say hi to them. I hate it. That’s one thing that really frustrates me about myself. In my element, it’s easy to go out there and people come to me, because it’s the brand I built. I go to events and people come and they want to ask me questions, so it’s really easy. It just very naturally comes to me and I can talk to them.

But I go to these other places where no one really knows who I am, and it’s just, I’m a person. It’s hard. I don’t know why I struggle so much to just walk up and say to them and talk to them. It’s interesting how much that introvert side of me, how much I struggle with that.

I remember sitting there the whole Christmas party, looking around and seeing all these amazing people, people that are fascinated by us, “I want to go talk to that person, I want to ask them a question, or do whatever.” But I honestly have so much fear inside of me, it drives me nuts. All this fear keeps me from going and saying hi, just going and talking to them. And even when they do come say hi to me or whatever, it’s just weird.

I’m really good at carrying on a conversation when people come and ask me questions, you know, but it’s like, we’re on mutual ground, they don’t really know much about me or whatever, I really struggle. I always try to think, I need to be interesting and ask them questions about themselves, but I’m just not as good at that. It’s just fascinating, the contrast of the night before I was onstage in front of all these people, people chanting my name and screaming and going crazy, people crying and this whole thing.

And then the next day I’m around people that live near me and I can’t even…it’s interesting. So that’s a little glimpse of what it looks like to be an introvert in an extrovert position or calling. So unless you think that I got everything put together, I still get scared to death. One of my biggest fears in life is calling people. I hate calling people on the phone, it scares me to death. That’s why I use Voxer with my inner circle members, that’s why I never, the only phone call I ever answer is from my wife. Everyone else I make go to voicemail, then I listen to the voicemail and if it sounds awesome I call them back, otherwise I just don’t call them back at all. I’ll text them back or I’ll vox them back. Just because I have these weird fears about that.

Anyway, it’s not just me, it’s everyone. So don’t feel bad if you are like, “I’m too introverted I’m never going to be good at this business. I don’t dare talk to people.” I get that. Still to this day, I get so nervous behind it. But that’s one of the powers and beautiful things about this kind of business. My thoughts are like, when you are introverted it’s really hard to do face to face, one on one selling. Nothing scares me more than that.

It’s funny how we built huge call centers and stuff like that and I don’t think I’ve ever picked up the phone and called someone and sold them on the phone. I don’t think I would even have the guts to do that yet. I can stand in front of a room of a thousand people or five thousand people and sell.

For example, I’m speaking at Grand Cardone’s event in February and there’s supposed to be somewhere between 8500 and 10,000 people. I’m so excited for that. The extrovert in me is like, yes, this is going to be awesome, I’ll step onstage, I’ll speak, I’ll sell. It’ll be so much fun. And then afterwards in the hallway, anyone asks me questions I get all awkward and weird. Hopefully someday I figure it out.

So hopefully my kids, hopefully Bowen over here, will never be nervous. Do you get nervous from talking to people at all?

Bowen: Yeah.

Russell: Do you get nervous standing in front of a lot of people and talking?

Bowen: Yeah.

Russell: Both of them?

Bowen: I’m about to do it in front of my entire class.

Russell: You’re giving a presentation tomorrow?

Bowen: Wednesday.

Russell: On Wednesday? Does it make you nervous?

Bowen: Yeah.

Russell: What makes you more nervous, talking in front of a class of a whole bunch of people, or just talking one on one with somebody?

Bowen: Probably the whole class.

Russell: The whole class does? Interesting. See for me, I was just telling them, when I’m onstage with a whole bunch of people I feel comfortable, but then one on one I get really nervous.

Bowen: if it’s one on one I guess you do kind of get nervous. I mean, it was kind of hard for me to do this because one on one is kind of hard because if you mess up they’ll recognize it. Except if it’s a lot of people, they don’t yell it out.

Russell: Anyway, I just wanted to share with you guys tonight, I don’t think this is something anyone is going to learn much from, other than hopefully give the introverts out there some hope that they can do this.

And people that are extroverted, help them understand their super powers. A lot of those guys are going to be a lot better one on one and a lot of introverts just seem like….it’s funny, because it’s not just me either. I was talking to Frank Kern and he’s like, “I love doing big events, but it scares me to talk to people afterward.” He’s super introverted. I think a lot of people in these kinds of positions are.

So it’s neat because it’s something that introverts can thrive in, in mass situation, but then they’re…even within there they can still have success. Hopefully that helps some of you guys who may get nervous or may think, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this. I’m not like Russell.” I get people all the time, “I’m not like you Russell. I can’t stand up in front of people and just talk for hours.” I’m like, “Dude, but you can talk to someone face to face, I can’t do that. It scares the crap out of me.” I mean, that’s a bad word here, in this family. It scares the..something else out of me. That’s the worse swear word you’re going to hear from Russell.

Bowen: Crud maybe.

Russell: Crud? It scares the crud out of me. Yeah, that’s way better. Good job.  Anyway, I hope that helps those introverts out here to understand how it is that you can still succeed in an extroverts world. In doing this stuff, the Expert Secrets stuff, putting your voice out there, putting your message out there. Because when all is said and done, the only thing that really matters is the impact you have on people’s lives.

So do it, it’s worth it. At first you’re not going to be very good, but if you get consistent with it, you get better and better and better. I think I told you guys, Steven Larsen told me, because I started this podcast back before I knew how to see if anybody was listening to it, so I think for four or five years I didn’t have it hooked to any stat system. And I’m glad I didn’t know because I just kept doing it and doing it. And Steven Larsen said to me one time, “Yeah, the first 45-46 episodes weren’t very good. After that it started getting really, really good though.”

But that’s how it kind of works. It’s all about you guys getting out there and sharing, sharing, and sharing and eventually you’ll get comfortable with your voice. I just watched Alex Charfin, he launched his Momentum podcast after the Pirates Cove mastermind this year, and he’s passed like 80 thousand downloads, which is awesome. And what he just posted on Facebook about it was just, because he thought about doing a podcast forever and I was the one that was like, “Dude, just do it. You’d be awesome at it. Just jump off the cliff.” And he said that by doing it, it was really cool. He’s like, “I found my voice. People started finding me. Other people referred people and my audience grew. I have people listening to my voice every single day and it’s just like such a good thing.”

But again, it’s all about just doing it. And the more you do it, the better, the more your message will get clear, the better you’ll find your voice, the more comfortable you’ll feel. The nicest thing about these mass media things that we have, podcasts and videos, webinars, things like that, is that even if you’re introverted you can still do this because you don’t have to talk face to face to anybody. You can do group selling, group everything and it’s awesome.

So there you go, that’s all I got. I’m going to go get this kid to bed, get his homework done so I can go to bed because I am so tired. Appreciate you all, talk to you soon. Bye.

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Who is Russell Brunson?

Over the past 10 years, Russell has built a following of over a million entrepreneurs, sold hundreds of thousands of copies of his books, popularized the concept of sales funnels, and co-founded a software company called ClickFunnels that helps tens of thousands of entrepreneurs quickly get their message out to the marketplace.