What’s up everybody? This is Russell Brunson, welcome to the Marketing Secrets Podcast. Today I want to talk to you about something that as you start having success is going to happen to you and it’s going to throw a lot of you guys off because it’s not something that makes a lot of sense.
Alright everybody, welcome back. I’m pumped for today’s episode because part of me, partly it causes a little fire under me, and I realized I forgot that this happens, and I think it happens to a lot of people and it either keeps them from success or it keeps them…..the fear of it keeps them from success or worse, they have some success and it happens and then it causes downward spirals.
Check it out, for those watching, there’s our field, all the snow’s melted. Going to start playing some more out there.
Anyway, this is interesting. As you are growing up in life and you are surrounded and you start getting your network of friends and family and all sorts of stuff, what’s interesting is your friends and family, you like them a lot because they connect with you, they understand you, and the craziest thing happens. When people are miserable or they mess up or they have problems or whatever, people relate to them.
It’s the weirdest thing. So if you’re sick, everyone relates to you. “Oh I’m so sorry you’re sick.” And if you’re like, “Oh I’m overweight.” They’re like, “Oh I’m so sorry you’re overweight.” Or “Oh I’m broke.” “Oh my boss sucks.” “Oh my job.” “Oh school.”
When you’re miserable, everyone will instantly jump in and empathize, have empathy with you and it’s really, really nice. And we get connection from that and we build friendships and things like that are interesting. And it seems like the worse you are and the worse things that are happening to you, the more people give you love and connection, which is why a lot of people live in a zone where they just stay miserable, because the more miserable they are, the more love and connection they get, they have more significance they get, and a whole bunch of other weird things, even though it seems backwards.
So something weird’s going to happen to all you guys. If you’re listening to this podcast it means you’re going to be successful. You’re going to go out there and start doing things differently and you’re going to be trying things and working…Holy cow, someone just almost hit me……You’re going to be trying things differently, be thinking differently and it’s going to be weird. And you’re going to have these friends around you and you’re going to be excited and telling these stories, and at first they’re going to be watching you fail, and they’re going to be there for your failures, they’re going to rally with you, they’re going to be there.
And then something’s going to happen, you’re going to figure this game out, and you’re going to start having success, and the weirdest thing happens. You think that all your friends are going to come back to you and be like, “Oh man, you’re having success.” You assume they’re going to be happy for you, because they’ve been miserable for you, with you. But you assume, and all of us are the same way, we assume that because these people were miserable with us that they’re going to be happy with us.
And the weirdest thing happens, when you have success all these people who you thought were your really close friends, who you thought were going to be grateful and excited and happy for your success, and you get it and guess what happens? They’re not happy for your success. It’s the weirdest thing. And it causes these weird emotional, mental things for us as entrepreneurs. We’re like, “I don’t get it, these are my best friends. Why aren’t they happy I’m having success.”
And it’ll sabotage you. A lot of times you’ll slip back into you not being successful because you’re like, screw that, I want my friends to like me, I’m going to be miserable. And then you’ll mess up and they’ll be like, “Oh come here, we’re all friends again.” It’s the weirdest thing.
I wanted to share that with you. I’ve had a couple of things, recently that are…there’s this guy I used to go to church with, and I didn’t really know him that well, I knew of him and it’s crazy. Apparently he messaged me on Linked in, this is like 7 or 8 years ago, when I first started to go to church there, and he messaged me on Linked in, and I didn’t, I had a Linked in account, but I hadn’t logged in, but I didn’t know about it. And somebody told me 4 or 5 years later that he was saying I was really rude or something. I’m like, “I’ve never even talked to him before. Find out why.” And apparently it was because I never responded to his Linked In message.
So rule number one, don’t assume people are reading what you’re messaging them. Crazy. I went and logged in to Linked In and searched through 5 or 6 years of back message and I found it, and I was like, “Oh man.” So I messaged him, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m on Facebook. I don’t check Linked In. I apologize.” And he’s like, “No worries man, it’s all cool.” So I’m like, alright whatever.
So then I end up moving, going to a different, in the Mormon church we call them wards, same church but different ward, different area, different group or congregation or whatever you want to call it. So I’m in this other congregation just doing my thing, and honestly, you guys know this because you’re here. I’m just doing my thing, I am obsessed with the art of what I do. So this is like me painting. Business and entrepreneurship is my art. So I’m doing it and I’m obsessed with the success of people going through it.
In the last, we had a FHAT event last week, and in the three day FHAT event, we had 18 people get 2Comma Club awards. It’s crazy, we’re doing multiple 2 Comma Club, making multiple people millionaires in a day right now. That’s what I’m passionate about. And I’m so fired up for other people’s success. We’ve got 10 – 12 people who have passed 8 figures this year, it’s crazy. That’s what I’m excited about.
So apparently one of my friends came up to me and he’s like, “Hey, you know so and so?” I’m like, “Yeah, how’s he doing?” “Um, he’s doing alright…” and he tells me about this conversation they had and I guess in this conversation he’s like, “I’m not impressed with Russell. I’m not impressed with anything he’s done.” I was like, “Well tell him next time you talk to him, my job, I’m not trying to impress him. I’m doing my art and trying to make people successful.” It just blew my mind, that guy, I don’t know him that well. But he should be happy for me. I’m helping other people, I’m helping tons of people have success. Why aren’t they happy? It’s the weirdest thing.
There was a person, not my immediate family, but in my family, same kind of thing. I won’t tell too much of the story because who knows, maybe they listen, I doubt it, pretty sure they don’t. But apparently anytime someone talks about Clickfunnels in the family, this person will stand up and walk out. Because they are so frustrated and upset about whatever, I don’t even know. It doesn’t make sense to me.
So I just want to warn you guys, as you start having success, a lot of people you love and care about around you, who you think should be excited for your success, they’re not going to be. And it’s going to be hard and you’ll be like, “What? I thought you guys loved me.” And yeah, they loved…I don’t know.
I remember sitting at a Tony Robins event, UPW, and he was talking about this. When you have enough weight, they all love you, but as soon as you start losing weight and eating healthy, they instantly just turn on you. So I just want you guys to be prepared for that, be warned for it. Understand that it’s not their fault, they just love, I don’t know, there’s something about…they can relate to the unhappiness, they can relate to not having success.
So it’s like, when you start succeeding and doing these things, it scares them to death, and they’re scared that you’re going to progress past them or scared you’re going to leave them or whatever those things are, and a lot of times it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because they start not being happy for your success and when you fail, they’re secretly hoping you fail because they want you back to where they were at, so they can connect with you still.
So don’t let that be a thing that keeps you back, because you’ve got a gift, you’ve got something that you’re amazing at. There’s something that you can do to change the world and if you succumb to that, you’re going to lose out on that and people’s lives won’t be changed because of that. There’s Mr. James P. Friell driving in behind me.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I’m sure some of you guys have either hit that or you’re going to hit that, just be aware of it. Second side of that is, when people have success, be excited for them. Be that person that’s like, “Man, you lost weight, congratulations.” “Oh man, you’re making money, that’s awesome.” Be the person who’s excited. I’m genuinely pumped when people are successful. And it makes me laugh because I meet people all the time that are like, they talk about their successes, they’re not proud of it. They’re proud of it, but they’re afraid to talk about it because they know that people will come back and be like, “man, sounds like you got lucky.” Or “Good timing for you.”
I’ve had people tell me before, I remember when I won my first state title, I had a friend who had started wrestling at the same time as me, but he quit. And he’s like, “Oh well if I would have kept wrestling, I’d be a state champ too.” I’m like, “No you wouldn’t. You quit. By definition you never would have…”
When I’m successful in business people are like, I remember I was at some, where was I at? Somewhere, and someone asked me, so I told them this is what happened. They’re like, “Man, you got so lucky. I wish I could find something like that.” I’m like, are you kidding me? So lucky? You remember the last 15 years while you were goofing off working 9 to 5 and going to bed at night? I wasn’t. I wasn’t lucky. I freaking worked my face off.
It’s just funny because people are afraid to talk about that. So when you meet somebody and they tell you something about themselves and it’s exciting, they’re probably going out on a limb there, and probably nervous and scared. Instead of being like, just be pumped for them. Be excited, tell them “Holy crap! That’s amazing.” And pump them up, because if you do that, you’ll attract more people like that. And it’s going to make everything easier for you and your life better.
So there you go, I hope that helps. Look how foggy it is here in Boise today. It’s been foggy all weekend long, it’s kind of cool. Anyway, I’m going to end this, but I want you guys to know I’m proud of you, I’m pumped for you, I’m excited for you. The more success you have, the happier I am. All I care about is your success. Find people and surround yourself with people who are the same way and become that kind of a person. Peace, see you guys.